July 2, 2008
How to court a lady, brought to you by Melissa Cherry:
Get to know what she likes. Observe her. Think like her.
Caress her, gently. Show her you care and that you’re soft and lovable.
Take her from behind, because that’s all she really wants. Rule #1 and 2 are merely a formality.
June 24, 2008
Christian Lander, author of the notorious tell-all entitled Stuff White People Like, has just wrapped up a contest and received over 685 entries! Readers were asked to submit a 350-word entry showing off their knowledge of white people…Winners of the contest are to receive a copy of Stuff White People Like, in their choice of either autographed or mint condition, a copy of The Onion Movie DVD, and will have their fully-credited entry posted to the site.
Thanks, on behalf of white people, for including a copy of The Onion Movie!
The book features:
50% all new, never before seen material
Flow charts including, “How to name a white child,” and “Where should a white person live?”
A definitive, easy-to-score quiz to determine your exact level of whiteness
Much, much more!
June 20, 2008
Congratulations to you three, you’re getting a FREE copy of The Onion Movie DVD! Please send me an email at Caroon@m80im.com with a shipping address and I’ll take care of the rest…Those who did not win a DVD, you can still purchase your copy of The Onion Movie at the Fox Store!
June 17, 2008
To be announced later this week….gonna let you guys sweat it out a little longer.
Tune in this week to find out which lucky winners will be taking home The Onion Movie and blogging about it all weekend. Winners are encouraged to gloat and brag about their win. Losers can go cry to their mommies about how unfair these contests are and how they NEVER win anything, EVER! boohoo.
June 11, 2008
This just in, area man wants to win free copy of The Onion Movie on DVD. Sources say that local blogs have addressed this issue and have organized a giveaway. Area man may be too busy trying to find pornographic material on YouTube to notice blog post.
If you’re a fan of the The Onion, and you’ve liked what you’ve seen on this blog so far, drop me a comment and I’ll be picking a few lucky winners to send a free copy of The Onion Movie DVD… would make a great gift for dad 🙂
Just leave a comment on this post telling me whether you think Melissa Cherry is HOT or NOT and you’re automatically entered into the contest for your chance to win a free DVD.
Contest closes Monday, June 16. CONTEST IS CLOSED
June 11, 2008
Thanks for posting about Steven Seagal’s new hit movie, Cock Puncher! If you’re interested in Martial Arts for Personal Development check out their site:
June 11, 2008
Melissa Cherry talks about two of her hit songs “Down On My Knees” and “Take Me From Behind” in an exclusive interview. When questioned about the sexual undertones of her songs, Cherry states, “It’s like when you have a big crush on a boy, sometimes you get down on your knees and like beg for their love…’Take Me From Behind’ isn’t sexual at all, it’s about love sneakin’ up on you, y’know, like from the behind…”
Cherry was recently found naked in a back alley with Barney, the lovable purple dinosaur. No further update on this story, but tune in for an exclusive interview with Cherry’s publicist.
June 10, 2008
This just in from The Onion, smoking within US borders has been restricted to a single 10×10 room in Iowa.
Riots and traffic to be expected as disgruntled smokers make their way to this smoker’s room…use caution on the road and make sure to carry your handguns and weaponry with you just in case…
June 6, 2008
Feel free to pass this along… share it with friends, family, and anyone with a sense of humor or a heartbeat….
**Embed by pressing upward arrow at below right corner and grabbing code, double click to go to the video on YouTube….or visit http://youtube.com/user/foxabulous to check out all The Onion Movie clips and access a ton of other videos!**
June 6, 2008
Busta Rhymes was the first to address neck breaking. In response to this concern, American Automotive redesigned some of their vehicles to support the neck and prevent any injuries. However, American Automotive announced a recall on all car models with neckbelts as they have been proven to cause violent decapitation.
The Onion news:
Busta Rhymes breaks his neck: